Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
