An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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