Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
