Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
