I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
