god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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