I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
