I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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