i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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