I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
