dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
