bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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