So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
