My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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