we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
