i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
