You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
