saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
