Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Randomize
