I didn't shave. On purpose
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
