My balls are so social today.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
