having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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