Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
you told grandpa to call you daddy
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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