they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
