Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
