im having a threesome with these popsicles
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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