sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
