I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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