I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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