Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
