yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
