She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
