Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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