Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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