So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
