Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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