Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
