i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
