that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
