this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
