Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I think I just shit out all my problems.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
