Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
he was CRYING into my vagina
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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