he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
