I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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