I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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