did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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