i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He better not be in your backpack
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
