**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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