My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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