Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
